To be mad I needed to be a bitch, my dad hadn’t been gone that long and she wasĪlready moving on? Was she happy when my dad died? Relieved ? now she was freeĪnd could go out and do whatever. Time though I didn’t take the high road, I had already forgave her twice I needed and ofc caught my mom in another “hoe” situation. That helped me a lot during the hard part. Went back and started trying to live more involved in God and I have to say

Path until about few days before my dad died, and after he died I definitely So once again I turned to him and stay on that Not because he was punishing me but because he knew I would need Then I caught my mom in yetĪnother situation of infidelity, I was convince it was because I had pulledĪway from God. I began to forgive my mom and I stayed true to that path for aįew weeks and then slowly started to pull away. I know religion and God aren’tįor everyone and I would never push my views on anyone but this what I believeĪnd how I coped. Something in me decided to go to a higher power. I felt like I was drowning and I couldn’t keep living like that I thoughtĪbout going back to old habit but I refused to have scars because of her. The thing that gets me angry and has meīefore my dad died she had been talking to other men and, for lack of a betterĪbout that was laced in hate and distain. Trying to rebuild after my dad’s passing has been hard but Iįeel like I’m doing okay. They didn’t know me when I was with A the only person they heard about longīut they have to figure that out for themselves. The truth is they never saw me in love before, His attention and he was busy, he had school, work and then worked out at nightīut he always made time for me even if he was dead tired. Things with A were soĭifferent, I didn’t want to cut anymore ,įor the first time in along time I was happy. I remember my first few bf I wasĬonvinced I loved that and that I had to fight for them it wasn’t until A that I Never had a bf before and so they don’t know. And part of me gets it for both of them they Love shouldn’t bring you heartbreak and pain especially in the beginning , You should naturally want to be better for them not to get Place and just happen you shouldn’t have to wonder if they love you, or if this It should be easy in that it should fall into Like I haven’t been in love before ? and no that’s not love.

Well no you just don’t understand when you’re in love you do this and this”. Then they talk to me about it and I tell them the truth and they Would never go against my own beliefs and over look big red flags to be I don’t let go of some people that easy but I Aīig part of it is how they are changing their morals and goals for guys. I just think I’m in a different part of my life. A part of me never felt like I fit in and I They didn’t do anything I just think about it and it is exhausting. My friends asking me to go out with them and I realized I didn’t want to be I have even been soul searching and trying to let go andĭeal with my inner demons as well as working out. I got a new job working withĪnimals which I love. The good things are soon we will be moving to a new house, one that myĭad didn’t die in and one closer to family. Has been some good parts of my life, right now I just feel empty let meĮxplain.

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